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It’s all happening at Happy Valley racecourse tonight where the genius marketing minds of Lenovo and the Hong Kong Jockey Club come together to prove to the world that a square peg can indeed fit into a round hole and that the oddity known as, er, “Racing with Football” on a Happy Wednesday will be a real game changer!!! Can.Not.Wait.
*FINALLY revealed is who in Australian racing circles is known as “King Midas In Reverse” because everything he touches turns to primo crappo.
Also out there are The Neinstein Files which names the top ten losers in horse racing in Australia. All racing tipsters are of course redacted.
*Donald J. Trump announces a ban on Belgian waffles in a rambling and incoherent speech that’s par for the course.
*Hong Kong is on the map for all the wrong same reasons again when the AI created K-Pop type girl group comprising Cannabis, Cocaine, Crystal Meth and Etomidate called Obsession go on the road as REAL girls!!!
Read the backstory to this “creative” car crash here…
What was the brainchild of the- wait for it-Correctional Services Department of the government as part of an anti drugs campaign that went viral when the AI group appeared to be endorsing drug taking and the music video had to be removed, Obsession, which, by the way,is also the name of a French perfume, is joined onstage by the Rapper named KokItUp.
Rosanna Law, below, Hong Kong’s Secretary for entertainment, tourism and culture and scarves- and a keen pop concert goer- skipped attending this one.
*Knowing all too well that the only way to a trillionaire’s version of a heart is through their ego, a tweet or whatever you call it these days from John Kanga, below, about the genius of Elon Musk pays off: Kanga is named Captain Kangaroo of the Musky Man’s fleet of spacecraft. And babysitter to all his children.
We don’t know John Kanga, but here’s what we think- if this means anything at all: In the very short time that he was Chairman of the Melbourne Racing Club, he achieved a hell of a lot plus he showed that he was not part of the usual plodding management “style” seen for decades.
He wasn’t scared to go out on a limb and which very probably scared some who prefer leaders to talk softly and carry a limp stick.
*Donald J Trump joins the Village People as the Village People.
*The great Irish horse trainer Aidan O’Brien and the very professional Australian jockey Craig Williams engage in what is billed as The Clash Of The Talkies.
The winner of the competition is judged on staying power, verbosity, the number of names mentioned with no repeats and the number of times someone is thanked during a designated period.
In the case of Aidan O’Brien, all those he mentions are “tanked”.
Ryan Moore is confirmed to be referee.
*After each race meeting, the Hong Kong Jockey Club introduces what is known as “After The Fact” aka “Whiners Are Weiners”.
This is where those local racing fans who have never owned a horse or ridden one and barely know 1000 metres from a mile and rarely have a bet make their thoughts known on a soapbox in the Members Only parking facilities about which jockeys “tried”, those who they believe didn’t “try” and how those who won as short priced favourites offered “no value” etc etc.
Speaking about this new initiative, the CEO of the HKJC describes it as “the greatest and most fantastically innovative way to show that we are here to listen to everyone, no matter how ridiculous and stupid they may sound”.
* Rumours that the GOAT Ryan Moore will host a talk show are debunked.
THANKS FOR BEING YOU, CRISTIANO.
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