IF THERE ARE THE RAZZIES, HERE ARE THE MUZI AWARDS!!!
If variety is the spice of life, we’re then living these days in a tossed fruitcake salad of artichokes and funk and thunk that have us coming up for air pretty much every day and asking Alfie, what it’s all about, mate?
Whatever happened to imagination and suddenly being in a real time world without things like apps for saps where a frog and a pig had such a unique relationship and kids met The Count, the Cookie Monster, Big Bird and Bert and Ernie?
Because we’re all now in the online quicksand of an arid Mad Max AI land, where nothing is real and there’s so much to get hung up about instead of finding and discovering new things by ourselves, we’re having irrelevance foisted on us and with a generation lost in space, I thought, and maybe to give us some breathing space, why not THE ABSOLUTELY MAD AND IRRELEVANTLY RELEVANT AND LEFT FIELD CULTIVATED MUZI AWARDS?
In short, a Muzi.
We need the quirks along with things from left field and off-centre to get back to a Chauncey Gardener world and start sowing and knitting and piecing everything together on our own unmade blank canvases- different types of canvases.
Where to start? Maybe from the tail end of the middle and try not to make too much sense of any of it, but just accept what’s there and leave the rest alone.
As someone who was born in what was known as Ceylon, why am I- an Asian- still being force-fed things that have nothing to do with me and my DNA and the person I am- not someone who’s a Jack of all trades and not the master of his domain?
Why do I care about America and American politics and American values?
I was married to an American and she was someone who didn’t see any geographical and cultural boundaries. We met, fell in love and the result of our union is a daughter who was created with love- lots of it- and our cat and two dogs who might no longer be with us in the Here and Now, but are always living inside of us along with our memories.
As to who gets a Muzi…
Desi Lydic from The Daily Show for being smart and sexy and extremely entertaining with no fear of wading into the dark depths of the pool without a rubber ducky.
Mariska Hargitay for being absolutely brilliant as Olivia Benson for so many seasons of “Law And Order: Special Victims Unit”.
Little known fact: Muzi met and interviewed her biological father before he was revealed as being entertainer Nelson Sardelli, someone who performed quite a few times at the Eagle’s Nest of the Hong Kong Hilton.
Steve Martin in “The Jerk” which offered up a wonderfully absurd way of looking at the world through spectacles that made one go cross eyed.
Now United, the Simon Fuller managed Benetton poster inspired pop group who some in Hong Kong still believe is a female football team who sings and dances and performs around the world.
How on earth the Hong Kong Jockey Club managed to get things to malfunction so bloody badly requires having a lobotomy to understand what was going through their minds?
Here was an opportunity to take that might have appeared to be a train wreck and give it new wheels by travelling outside of the obvious.
Best Actor in a Not Making Sense role: The CEO of the Hong Kong Jockey Club in Winfried Engelbrecht-Bresges. Almost Trumpian and Putinesue in his self belief that humanity will perish without being able to bet on horse racing.
Most Valuable Second Banana and The Biggest Fan of Ralph Macchio as The Karate Kid: Jordan Schlansky, Associate Producer with the jumpy and twitchy and extremely white and freckled Conan O’Brien.
Best Human To Become A Cartoon Character: Kashewnut Patel, currently FBI Director in the oddball administration of Mr Tangerine Man.
The Bottom Line when the bottom has fallen off is this: Muzi can be found in his garden planting seeds of positivity and marijuana plants to kickstart this world and take it into the absurdity of a one legged actor who dreams of becoming Tarzan.
Over and really really way out there, man.
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