IF LIFE IS A BURGER, HONG KONG DESPERATELY NEEDS CREATIVE SAUCE.
No idea who’s been handing out the Valium, but in all the many decades that I’ve been part of Hong Kong, watching it go through its many ch-ch-ch-changes after arriving here by ship from Ceylon with my parents and told we were in Melbourne- long story- and going from being the first “wog” at Quarry Bay Primary School to the united nations that was King George the Fifth Secondary School, and then worked on those different fillings that make up why Life’s Like A Cheeseburger, never have I seen such a terminally boring, blinkered and negative Hong Kong.
Yes, the entire world is caught up in a vise like grip of gross stupidity, where the puppy dog tails of the most corrupt grifters are wagging Bowser, but we in little old Hong Kong aren’t the world no matter what that drippy song drip dropped about decades ago. “We” are NOT “the world”. We have our own Ding Dong Song. We are Hong Kong, we are the Hong Kong once promoted as “Asia’s world city” and with what was cutely known as having a “Can Do” spirit.
The last time I looked, “Can Do” is No-Can-Do and too many are looking for things no longer here and drinking themselves silly from half empty glasses and walking around saying that The End Is Nigh. It’s hardly inspiring stuff.
My tolerance level for BS is pretty good because of decades of dealing with it, though I see that my boredom threshold is quite low these days. I guess I saw it coming and why I divorced a very nice American girl who has remarried and with whom I have a daughter, both of of whom I never see anymore. It’s best this way as I have sowed plenty of seeds, got caught up in a few weeds and was going down too many rabbit holes until a girl from Denmark, who was working in Dubai as an architect, happened to be passing through Hong Kong.
We met through friends, got to really know each other when spending Christmas in Sri Lanka and she decided to move here, where she turned my world upside down and inside out and made me realise that I had been living a lie in my uncomfortable comfort zone.
Here was someone who didn’t know Hong Kong and yet was showing me a Hong Kong I never knew before. I was suddenly inspired me to inhale tasty new dim sums in the morning and which helped me deal with the Shallow Peeps and Hong Kong’s obsession with wealth.
Last night, someone I hadn’t seen in around twenty years, and who still loves much about Hong Kong, had worked with Sir David Tang, understood his need to be pukka and keep up pretences. He was a bon vivant and I liked him very much.
He had to be what he was because of the brand he had created for himself. While in mid thought about the launch of the China Club and the fabulous Shanghai Tang fashions, my friend whispered to me about those around us: “They are clueless and have absolutely no idea what they are doing- and are so badly managed which is why Hong Kong appears to be in Reverse.”
We were at a dinner and she had asked me to be her date, because, I believe, she wanted to puncture a few tired egos. She does this with charm and a wry sense of humour whereas she knows the different ways I might decide to work the room and ride roughshod over it by mentioning whatever elephant might be in the room.
Interesting was (A) when she asked someone at the table if the reason that he’s now living in Bali is because he’s broke whereas (B) saying that anyone talking about 5-10 year plans for Hong Kong will probably never see the light of days of these happening because sixty and seventy year olds talking about long term plans make no sense. The maths don’t work and not even the wonderful Diane Keaton lived forever.
Because I enjoy a flutter, I will bet that Hong Kong has painted itself into an awful corner and somehow needs to pull its head out of its rear, and go marching through the marshes banging its own kettle drum.
The question is this: Where is Hong Kong going? For some, er, the short lived “Night Vibes” in Temple Street? A Wanchai and Lan Kwai Fong and Soho that barely have a pulse?How many in Hong Kong know creative and strategic marketing, let alone music marketing and knowing what is entertainment?
Just listen to some of the “sounds” emanating from the once fun and musically driven beer garden at the Wednesday night races at Happy Valley where even the dogs are howling for whoever is up there wobbling onstage to PUHLEESE stop.
Sure it was some time ago- 2003- but one should not forget that to show the world Hong Kong was alive and kicking, and though the HarbourFest concerts were not without its controversies, it brought to Hong Kong at one time, MEGA acts like Prince, Santana, Neil Young and the ROLLING STONES plus lesser known artists like Blue, Atomic Kitten etc!
Think of the international artists who have performed in Hong Kong- David Bowie, Sting, Elton John, the Bee Gees, Bob Dylan, Stevie Wonder, Whitney Houston, Norah Jones…This was when radio stations in the city played Western music and the standard of English was pretty much the Queen’s English and Hong Kong was a TRULY international world city.
Today, ALL international acts go to Singapore because it’s positioned itself as the hub for Western music and is easy access to fans from around the region.
Forget about going through the Subterranean Homesick Blues and following leaders who can’t lead except for maybe taking lemmings over the precipice.
Try not to fall for those “sheik your money-makers” either like a supposed “prince of Dubai” and sheik who breezed into Hong Kong wearing his bathrobes a few years ago and met with so many in extremely high baby chairs of power while promising to invest US$500 million in the city.
After setting up an office at Shun Tak Centre and introducing his very familiar looking female CEO to the media, alas, the “sheik”’quickly left. It was a sheik down.
The hasty exit might have also had something to do with this person being found out was pursuing a career as a-wait for it- wannabe singer in the Philippines. And the follow up story to this is…? Who in Hong Kong gave this bloke an Honorary Doctorate while there are others still wiping egg off their faces?
This is why Hong Kong needs a new supply of smart pills so it can look beyond the obvious. Not needed are more of the same third rate hires whose leaders seem confused about what to do next to show their relevance.
For instance, one is always left wondering whether many of these concerts featuring elderly Canto Pop artists are being organised for the local community, or are these some ingenious new ways to attract investors to Hong Kong and position the city as an international melting pot of nationalities and cultures and each with something to offer?
With another Yawnfest tourism campaign under the rather “innovative” theme of “Only In Hong Kong”, as an adman with a pretty good track record and someone very much involved in music marketing, retail marketing and anything that sells anything anywhere including Hong Kong, where are those in this campaign who have given and continue to give this city its attractions?
Shouldn’t they be the building blocks and mentors for those to follow?
As the person who in not one his most creative moment created the term “Canto Pop”, well, I created the Happy Wednesday brand for the Hong Kong Jockey Club, have written songs for most of the top Hong Kong artists and have worked with everyone from Bowie to Gorillaz.
Think that I can’t put a team together that includes my longtime friend and business partner Norman Cheng and give Hong Kong some much needed sizzle that it REALLY needs instead of more flim flam self promotional LinkedIn and Tatler fizzle?
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